A Way of Thinking?

I was reading Nineteen Minutes by Jodi Picoult, it’s a really interesting novel and if you haven’t read it I suggest it. It looks at a school shooting from every angle, and even if you do not agree with her option it is still eye opening. Who is the victim? In any situation where something truly bad happens, the perpetrator in some way was forced to that point. I love this book it starts with

“You cant undo something that happened; you can’t take back a word that’s already been said out loud. You’ll think about me and wish you were able to talk me out of this. You’ll try to figure out what would have been the one right thing to say, to do. I guess I should tell you, don’t blame yourself; this isn’t your fault, but that would be a lie. We both know that I didn’t get here by myself.”(Picoult 4)

I sometimes have a very sick mind when it comes to protecting the ones that I love, even if I shouldn’t love them. I was assaulted by my boyfriend many times. He did things to me that I will never forgive, and some of which I can’t so much as remember. I am not sure if the reason I protect him and his actions is because of the way I felt for him or if it is protecting myself and my reasons on staying with him. I can’t tell you, maybe because I don’t want to know which reason it truly is.

I guess my question is if others think the way in which I do?